I think people often misunderstand the concept of choosing our "reaction" to an external event.  When you truly realize that every emotion you experience is your own choice of how you perceive something that happens in the world "outside" of you, you understand that you're not falsely acting happy when you feel hurt on the inside, you simply don't have the hurt at all because you know no one has the power to wrong you when you choose your emotions.

Isn't it a common occurance that when some people are given a compliment they accept it and say thank you, while others will deny compliments emphatically?  All compliments are positive and should make people feel good, but that is not the case for everyone... why?  Because some people choose to feel good when they are given a compliment while others choose to feel nothing or embarrassed, etc. when they are given a compliment.  Likewise, hasn't everyone had the experience of seeing someone totally insulted or some how wronged and the person just practically ignored it and went on with their day truly as if nothing bad had happened to them?  Not in the sense that they were hurt by it, but just pushed it out of their mind and pretended to be happy while they seemed slightly hurt by it.  I mean, truly seemed to not even have noticed the bad thing that happened to them.  And of course there are plenty of times when people are insulted and get upset by it.  Again, the difference is merely in the choice to feel bad or feel good after something bad happens.

Choosing your emotions however, is just that - choosing your emotions, it doesn't mean choosing your actions while ignoring your emotions.  This is the misunderstanding that people have when they think it would be fony of them to have someone insult them and choose not to feel hurt by it.  They misunderstand the concept to mean that when someone insults them, they do feel hurt by it, but they should pretend not to be hurt and not talk about it.  This would be fony, unnecessary, unproductive, and not very helpful.  The goal is not to ignore the hurt, the goal is to free yourself from your own choice to feel hurt.  For example, if a stranger walks up to me and says, "nice outfit ugly" I can choose to feel self-concscious and worry about how others think I look or I can choose to see that as one person's opinion who probably happens to be a very very unhappy person to treat someone else like that and choose to see myself as a caring, warm-hearted person who contributes a lot of good to the world.  I don't look at other people and say that person is better because they look good today or that person's bad because they look bad today... and I'm certainly not going to choose to see myself like that either. 

It's not about forgiving someone for hurting you, it's about realizing that they never had the power to hurt you in the first place.