Lawrence,

You can start with the attitude of gratitude on your own, saying to yourself daily things like, "Thank you for his healing," "I am so happy and grateful now that he is stronger and happier everyday," or "Thank you for hiw growing health and happiness" - things like that which express gratitude, joy, and the present tense.  Fill yourself with positive thoughts and feelings by giving thanks more often, and you can give thanks for other unrelated things in your life as well.  The more you are grateful, the more you will get to be grateful for.  If you visit him in the hospital ever and he's asleep, you could say your words of gratitude out loud also, and your words might affect his subconscious mind positively.

B.B.

I think that B.B.'s suggestions was a great one. Start each day being thankful that your friend has survived this. Be thankful for his purpose on this Earth that has kept him here. Do as B.B. suggested and even say these to him while he sleeps. Also, at some point after he is out of the hospital, perhaps you could watch the Secret with him. Perhaps seeing some of the discussion on being able to change your life from this moment forward would be helpful. This may be a while down the road, but it could help. Perhaps even thank him personally for surviving so that you could continue to have him in your life. I hope his recovery is quick and successful.

I think that the best thing you can do, it to open yourself up to him, offer to be there and talk with him whenever he needs it. Give him guidance in seeing the positives in life, insteading of dwelling on the negatives. Try to do things with him that will get him out in the world, and make him appreciate all of the gifts we have on this planet. he needs to experiance for himself all of things that we all, as beings on this planet, have to be greatful for. If he is not seeking professional help, you should probably find a polite way to mention that to him.

That is a tough question, assuming you have already tried to help. Maybe you can always be there for him, hang out with him a lot and stuff. I was depressed once and know how it feels like. I was sad that nobody hung around me because i was so pessamistic. But i was irritated by one of my friends who tried to help by always being optomistic and seemed fake. If someone was just there for me i wouldnt of done the things i did to myself. I still sometimes get that way, my answer is writing. It isnt illegal, you dont get in trouble for it, it doesnt make you feel stupid, and it expresses yourself in ways you might havent before

hope it works out.

I agree with all of the above.  In addition being there for your friend and letting him know that you care for him see if you can get him to excercise and change his eating habits.  That works wonders for so many people.  Also, there is a course called The Art of Living course.  It teaches a breathing technique that was responsible for pulling me out of a major depression. The url is http://us.artofliving.org/  I think above all just let him know that you care and that he is not a victim and has the power to change his circumstances.   I hope this helps. 

Hi, I am new here, so I hope it's ok for me to post this in such a blunt way.I had posted a new subject in another room, I think it was health about my son and another family.So if you get a chance, please check it out.

What I wanted to say to Laurence about his friend is that just by you being there is a blessing.

Everything everyone has suggested is right on. But I want you to just consider also this. Is this friend of yours a super close friend or more like an aquaintance. The reason I am asking is, really only a really good an dclose friend would say this to someone.

Yes you let your frined know you are there for them, but also don't be afraid to talk to your friend directly to the heart of the issue. Because unless you are joined at the hip to this person, you can't always be there. Plus, that person is responsible to God with the gift of their own life. You can care and listen as much as you are able, and I am sure you have done that. You also wouldn't be out of line though to just say to your frieed...look I do care for and love you. You do matter to me deeply but you have got to start looking at the consequences to your own actions. If something is truely so wrong in your life, and you know there is help out there for you, but you are not willing to reach out and take a hold of that, I can't take hold of it for you.

Everyone has a legacy rather they beleive it or not, and what you hand down to others, does matter. Suicide is a permenant poison. Deppression is a poison too, and I am saying this because I have been there. More than once. And it's the wrong choice, regardless of the circumstances.

With all honestly, though it seems you might need to tip tow around this person, if you love them you will just say, look I love you, but I am not your savior. There's already a savior and I am not Him. If you need to go talk to someone, hey, I will drive you.If you don't want me to hear what's going on, then I will wait in the lobby if I can. I will even try to make the time if that's what you really need. But I don't want to be the one to have to go find your body. To clean up your mess and body and have to contact the people who love you and won't understand. trying to explain to them 'why" this happened. If you are hell bent on killing yourself, then I can't be around you. Because I will always be afraid that when I am driving over to your house...what if you decided to end it and then I would be the one to find you, and frankly it would devestate me, an dcause deep harm in my life, my relationsships....I would feel guilty like I didn't try hard enough, and it's not fair. It's not right and if you want to be active and present in this life, and realize that there are people here in your life that have been trying to reach out to you, who are choosing to stick around...because they really do care. If I didn't care I wouldn't keep talking to you about this. But you also have to give some care and respecit my feelings and know that I am being the friend in this situation. For you to start being a friend to me, or anyone else...you've got to be one to yourself. Rather you "feel" like it or not. There is life beyond the situation and how you are feeling right now. There are blessings,healing,hurt,disapointments,love,frinedships and hardships. It's life. It's not some cut and and dried thing.You can either sitck with it, and take the help that's offered to you, or not. But I can't do it for you. If you take that as I don't care, then your choosing to listen to a lie, because that's not's what is in my heart for you.

Anyways. it's just a suggestion.If you need anything, or someone to pray with Laurwence, pjcontreras6@aol.com

God bless you, and I am sorry your friend is having such a hard time.That is just my opinion.

Life can suck like you wouldn't beleive. i tried to cut my wrists at 12, Overdosed at 19 and again at 16. I am 36 now.

I had my reasons. BUT the real reason, wasn't because I didn't want to live anymore. It was because I didn't want my life to be the same way it was then, and i felt sad, scared...embarressed for feeling depressed and 'stuck' and to lazy to change it, when I knew better. You name it. Ya know what? I am so thankful to God that he saved my life.

He's blessed me in ways I couldn't have ever imagined. He gives us free will to choose. It's your friends choice,just as it's your choice to how much crap you will allow in your life from them.

If they are willing to reach out and take real help and start working on themselves to chance whatever is wrong...cool. More power to them. But if every time the phone rings they are going to bring you down, and be toxic. Love them, and let them know your there, but it may have to be from a distance for a while, and just pray for them deeply.

Take care.

Lesli

www.contrerashome.us

My special son Nathan. (one of the big blessings I would hav emissed out on if I had committed suicide.)

We get depressed when we feel we are cut off from who we really are. Your friend may feel alone even when people who love him are close around him.  Most often it is because we have lost all self-esteem. We cannot see ourselves as anthing other than 'wrong'. We have beliefs about who we should be and how we should live our lives, but often this is not who we really are. It is important for your friend to find out what things matter most to him. What does he value above all else - then to check that these are his values and not someone elses. Very often people who are depressed want to please others and give over their lives to others, but it does not make them happy.

Building up or re-building self-esteem is the most important thing. The only way we can do this is to set ourselves initially small achievable tasks or goals and gradually build up from there. Not achieving a task can be taken as a 'failure' so these need to be small steps. At the same time there is often a flip-side to things and 'failures' can be turned into successes. If we ask say to ourselves: 'If I failed this task, then I failed it to learn from it - the failure was intentional - so it was not a failure after all. Something better will come of it'.

It helps to understand that everything happens for a reason, but we don't always find out what that reason is, although sometimes we do find out and quite soon, if we are open to it.

The greatest obstacle is FEAR. We fear a loss or a failure, but nothing is going to happen one way or another without it giving us the lesson we need most. We think we have a conscious choice - but very often we have already made the choice unconsciously.

To regain our "self", we need to reconnect with the higher purposes of a higher power - be it God, our higher self or consciousness. We gain strength from the 'power' that 'we' have at that higher level - and learn to trust in it.

Methods of reconnection -- there are many websites such as this one...

- Meditation

- Drinking more water

- Seeking spiritual guidance from others

- Visualisations

We are not bound by external influences, we do have a choice - we just need to reconnect with that power and re-gain self-esteem.

Remember: The Wizard of Oz - you have everything you need already.

Love and light to you both,

Caz

(Sufferer of depression for many years. My husband died 3 years after 15 suicide attempts in as many years - we always said who ever died first would find a way to get important information back to the other. Since his death I have sought to find the answers that may not be able to help him but could help others... but I'm still working on it.).

Pray for him.  Prayer is one thing that no one can stop us from doing for them.  God does amazing things when we ask!